Five Times Jeff Almost Said 'I Love You' To Annie
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Five times Jeff almost told Annie 'I love you' after finally getting together, before the one time he did it. Borderline R rated in first section.


**This is a little one-shot, five times break in between writing the Community/Parks and Rec crossover fic "Studies Of Playgrounds and Diversion" buried all the way in the crossover section with three chapters to go.**

Jeff's eyes closed instantly when Annie's hand got….down there. They had to.

It took a few experimental strokes until Jeff felt brave enough to look down. Of course, when he saw her hand wrapped around….what it was wrapped around….he had to look at something else. For his own protection and pride.

But the first thing he saw was Annie's face. He didn't know if that helped or hurt.

He tried to hide his lack of composure, but it was too late. However, watching Annie watch him got his mind off the friction. To an extent.

Even though they were already in bed for the first time, and Annie had been pretty bold to this point, she still looked shy. But after she tugged faster and Jeff gritted his teeth, that shy look changed. And Jeff knew this new face pretty well.

She looked stunned and surprised that she was having this effect on him. Just like she was surprised whenever anyone gave her genuine credit for anything. Like she was surprised when someone did anything thoughtful for her. Like she was surprised whenever she realized someone truly appreciated her, for something other than grades.

And the fact that 'Little Annie, can't even say the p-word Adderall' was doing a number on sex God Jeff Winger just with her hand, on the first time….that surprised the both of them.

But then surprise gave way to acceptance on Jeff's part. After all, how else could this have turned out?

Yet the acceptance became something….warmer when Annie broke into a soft, appreciative smile. A smile that normally had no business in Jeff Winger's bedroom, especially at a moment like this. But he couldn't get enough of it.

Until that smile turned into something resembling a smirk. And those eyes morphed into something resembling a smolder. And that hand went a little faster to bring it all home.

Jeff closed his eyes and breathed heavily, but forced himself to open up again. As Annie started reveling in her achievement and pride, Jeff found he didn't want to look away – not by choice.

For all her hand was doing, Jeff's brain spun enough to realize he could lose it just from her eyes, smile and face alone. It even suggested this wasn't a new feeling for him.

"Annie…..fu…." Jeff couldn't even finish that as her thumb joined the mix. "I…."

His tongue got halfway through the next noise before stopping. It felt like he would have said something that started with "L." What L word could he say after I?

Jeff put Annie on her back before he could begin to answer.

Of course, after a second, he realized he had to say something else. "I…." Jeff searched for options, until settling for, "I'd better return the favor."

Even after her handiwork and his….weird near-words, he still came up with that genius move. That was more like sex God Jeff Winger. As if his fingers wouldn't rub it in more.

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The next morning, the smell of vanilla and raspberries woke Jeff up. As he breathed it in, he felt too soothed and relaxed to open his eyes. Even when he realized where it was coming from – and how it was lying on his shoulder.

As he took in Annie's head on her shoulder, her hair underneath his face, and the rest of her naked body lying next to him, he knew this was usually his cue to go. Even in his own apartment. But at the moment, he was amazed that the sweet scent of Annie's hair was overpowering all the other post-sex scents. Or that he was even noticing it.

He didn't quite want to address that yet – but he didn't have to if he wasn't awake. And this seemed like a good way to enjoy sleeping a while longer. So did putting his hand on her waist and slowly feeling the smooth, silky, curved skin there, apparently.

Jeff left his normal senses, enjoying the senses of his nose on Annie's head and his hand on her body instead. But when he felt Annie's head stirring, the daydream was over.

Jeff finally opened his eyes, fearing Annie noticed what he did and would talk about it when her eyes opened. Yet when they did, a bunch of questions didn't come out. Her expression didn't even change, as she studied him like she would a textbook. However, she never told a textbook, "You're still here."

Of course he was, this was his house. Yet after a second, Jeff remembered how that rarely made a difference before. And Annie knew it – so did the entire group for four whole years, thanks to him.

Here he was, worried about seeming too cuddly – and Annie was just amazed he stuck around in the morning with her. Even by Annie guilt standards, this level of guilt was astounding.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean…." Annie interrupted _before _the guilt showed on Jeff's face. He didn't know what was showing now, so he distracted himself by studying Annie.

After the apologetic panic wore off, it morphed into a face full of relief. And some late, slow blooming happiness. Not a clingy, excitable Annie kind of happiness, just….something simpler and purer.

"Let's try that again. Good morning," Annie started again.

"Morning," Jeff said to a woman on the morning after, in bed, for what may have been the first time. If he did it before, it obviously wasn't as memorable as this. And she obviously didn't have the smile Annie had right now.

_I love –_

"Stay right there," Jeff blurted out. He got out of bed, not even putting on clothes or showing off the goods before leaving the room.

For once, he wasn't leaving a woman in bed to get out of anything more serious. It was due to the _very serious_ thing he almost finished thinking. A thing he might have said out loud, out of shock – that was it – before he made himself leave.

A thing which he couldn't and wouldn't think about again.

Normally this really would be a good cue to leave. Instead, he got his robe and made Annie coffee, just the way she liked it, so she could drink it in bed. On his precious sheets.

So there was _two _things he couldn't and wouldn't think about more. Or one thing in the same. Whatever, this wasn't thinking time anyway.

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After their three-week trial period was up, Jeff visited Greendale to be there in person when Annie told the group about them. The reactions weren't as shrill and castration-y as he imagined two years ago, but there were still some vocal criticisms. Shirley's were a bit less louder than Britta's, to his surprise, so that was something.

But before Britta's got louder, Annie laid down the law.

"Britta, I appreciate your concern. But you and Troy's relationship _and _break up didn't ruin the group. And nothing me and Jeff do will ruin it too," she said, although Britta never even brought up Troy when she talked about the effect on the group. "Who says anything will be ruined? It hasn't been so far."

"Just for three weeks," Shirley pointed out, without her fire and brimstone voice. "I love Jeffrey, but he hasn't been a 'three-week plus relationship guy' much before."

"I'm sure he'd remember that just fine if he could hear you," Jeff quipped.

"I can hear her for both of us, Jeff," Annie acknowledged him, then acknowledged Shirley. "I know Jeff hasn't been a bunch of things before. But we all know he's not that guy anymore. He's changed so much, you should _all _have more faith in him than that. Even if you don't, I believe in him."

"This is where dark romantic comedies would cut to a big fight six months later," Abed noted.

"Well, I want to break the formula! And I know Jeff does too! Even after everything….I still trust him to make this work. And that's all that matters." Annie promised. "But if any of you make that harder for him, or give us a hard time in _any _way…..I'll stop correcting your notes this semester!"

"What? But, but how am I gonna pass Express Yourself 101? _Learning?_ You know how late it is for that!" Troy expressed.

"He's right, we might not all graduate on time without your note checks. Do _you _really want to risk that?" Britta pointed out.

"Jeff and Pierce already made sure we didn't graduate together. And I didn't make a peep or discredit any teachers that time, did I? Even though I _totally _could have," Annie frowned, pulling out the Professor Cornwallis card – and the group's late regret over it. "So give me some credit and give more of it to Jeff, and everything should work out. Okay?"

The group was mollified and Annie went right back to studying, after giving Jeff a pleased look. She went back to her books before she noticed the inscrutable look on Jeff.

Since no one ever defended him like that before – or trusted him in a relationship without being naïve before – he didn't know how to look after that. Or what to say.

_I love you._

When he felt those words bubbling up and halfway getting out, Jeff paid more attention to his phone than ever. And only the real fear of getting cut off from Annie's notes made Abed, Britta and Shirley let that slide.

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Over a month later, Jeff had no problem typing words on his laptop. The problem was that he was doing it at 2 am at home, and Annie had finally had enough.

"Jeff, come on," Annie groggily said as she came out of the bedroom. "Can't you type that loud in the morning? When I _want _to be awake?"

"Sorry, but this is too good," Jeff said, typing even while talking on his couch. "I've got a big Winger speech for my closing argument, and it really should go down in posterity. The bosses may even want to hang it on their wall."

Annie groaned and dragged her feet to the couch, looking over what Jeff had kept her up with. "You used that analogy in your first cross-examination. And you used that 9/11 reference twice in junior year. The rest of it was in your Christmas and St. Patrick's Day speeches two years ago."

Jeff actually examined his words and growled in recognition. "Damn it! How did I miss that?" he asked, not bothering to ask how she remembered it. "Great, now I have to rewrite the whole thing in six hours! So much for sleep tonight."

"Oh, like hell it does!" Annie frowned. Without even asking, she took the laptop, looked over the document and started typing even faster and louder than Jeff.

Despite cringing from the noise and running on exhaust, Annie got a whole new speech written and proof read in 15 minutes. A speech that looked completely written by Jeff himself, but without anything ripped off. When Jeff realized this after reading it over, he looked at Annie in amazement – even if she could barely keep her eyes open.

"Oh my God, this is perfect. This is everything….but it's….I love this!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Good, now thank me by going to sleep," Annie murmured, then closed her eyes right there.

Jeff was so excited, he went over to the bedroom and forgot to bring Annie with her. He even forgot there was another word besides "this" he thought of after saying "I love," if only for a second. Or at least forgot until he woke up.

When he got up and saw Annie sleeping on the couch, it made it harder for Jeff to forget.

For a split second, he thought about what might happen if he said it when she woke up. And about the lack of heart-attack inducing fear it brought on.

But when he saw that she'd almost knocked the laptop over in her sleep – the laptop with the _unsaved _speech on it – the fear returned quite vividly.

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One month later, Jeff attended his second graduation ceremony in five months. Only this time, it was a public ceremony to honor more than one graduate – without a wedding chapel. And although a bunch of students were graduating, Jeff was here to cheer four of them. Or one above all.

When Annie's turn came up, she marched on stage just as she practiced over and over with Jeff – cool and collected without breaking down into tears. But when she took her diploma from Dean Pelton, she crumbled a little and had to give him a hug. Although she obviously wasn't the Dean's most preferred hugger, he let her have his way with him anyway.

Jeff worked to get that phrase out of his head forever - which got easier once he really saw Annie.

She'd waited for this for four years, and planned it out for much longer than that. And although her college graduation wasn't at Princeton, or even Cornell, having it at Greendale truly made this the greatest moment of her life. Especially with all the most important people of her life there, cheering for her.

Troy, Abed and Shirley were drowning out Jeff's clapping, however. Yet if Jeff actually used his voice, he knew he'd never stop. He was content to let Annie's beaming face, immense pride and overwhelming happiness stun him into silence.

When she directed all that towards him in one look, all words failed him. All but three.

Before he knew what he was doing, his mouth moved. Yet no words came out. He was mouthing them perfectly, but he didn't make a sound. Still, any experienced lip reader could have made out his intended statement.

_I love you_.

Annie was too busy hugging Jeff and the others afterwards to bring it up. He never knew if she saw his lips move or figured out what he was trying to say. He was still stunned he had tried to say it.

But instead of feeling relieved that she didn't say anything, he felt….disappointed. The same sense of strange disappointment he felt when he didn't say the words. It rivaled the strange….contentment he felt to feel those words. To mean them.

Yet this day was about Annie, not Jeff and Annie. There'd be more Jeff and Annie days ahead.

And there was that strange feeling of contentment again. Almost as stunning as the I love you feeling. If any of it was stunning anymore.

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One week later, Jeff and Annie finished getting ready for their busy days. Jeff was heading to work on a case, while Annie was starting her round of job interviews.

It dawned on him this wouldn't be the first time they buzzed around each other all morning at Jeff's apartment, before leaving for their separate work days. This wouldn't be the first time they'd both come home exhausted in the afternoon, ready to help each other take the edge off at night, before starting over again tomorrow.

Maybe it'd happen in other apartments – or other types of buildings – at some point. But the pattern would stay the same.

And like so many other unlikely things lately, Jeff didn't hate this possibility.

Despite how busy and unprivate and….domestic it all was, Jeff still walked with Annie to their cars without a frown. In fact, it was getting hard to hide a little smile. Annie wasn't hiding her own smile, but she could just be daydreaming about crushing the interview.

In any case, Jeff would hear about her crushing it tonight anyway. And he was looking forward to it as much as he looked forward to crushing his own case. There was supposed to be something wrong with that – but for the life of him, he couldn't remember anymore. Nor was he anxious to.

So when they got to Jeff's car and it was time to go, Jeff pecked Annie and said, "Good luck. I love you," without a single thought.

He allowed himself to panic for one second when he realized he said it to her, out loud. The next second, he felt….no worry at all. It was like he'd already said it a million times to her. Maybe that was because he'd thought it a million times already, whether he was aware of it or not.

For her part, Annie didn't look shocked at all either. Given how so few people had said those words to her, or meant it for the right reasons, she should have been overwhelmed and unsure of what to do with herself. That was how she usually felt when anyone showed her deep affection.

Yet after all this time with Jeff, and all the ways he'd shown her deep affection – even before the last three months – she didn't feel stunned or unworthy. It just felt normal. Like it was a given. Just like her own feelings were.

"Love you too," Annie said simply, without hesitation.

Instead of panicking, like he would have during the first 33 years of his life, Jeff mentally bragged that he said the full "I love you" and she didn't. But he could needle her on that after she crushed her interviews.

First, he would give one more kiss to the woman he loved, head into his car, and drive off with thoughts of her to keep him company before work. Annie then drove off while thinking the same about the man she loved as well.


End file.
